


Burn Your Doubts and Fly

by Scarfinator



Series: Gay Mileena [1]
Category: Tales of Berseria, Tales of Series, Tales of the Rays (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 08:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13948122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarfinator/pseuds/Scarfinator
Summary: Ever since she and Ix started their adventure to save Tir Na Nog, Mileena has been dealing with copious amounts of doubt in regards to her sexuality. Does she truly only find herself so drawn to the female nexuses because "she likes cute things and people"? Is it merely a byproduct of how little interaction she was able to have with women her own age before their adventure began? Or is there something more to the intensity of her affections?Meeting Velvet Crowe only made her confusion run deeper. As she continued to get to know her, it completely overtook her. And now, Mileena has no choice but to deal with her true feelings once and for all.





	Burn Your Doubts and Fly

_Today is the last day of our three-day training camp at Yaw Bique. I explored the old Garanda Prison with Ix, Edna, and Farah in search of anima orbs._

Mileena had found herself a comfortable spot to lounge in on the airship. The sun was already falling, so she had seized the opportunity to take up her usual habit of journaling at the end of each day.

_It’s about as filthy and uncomfortable of a place as you’d expect from an abandoned prison, but we found an abundance of the anima orbs we needed! And being with Ix always makes me feel so much safer, so I had fun in the end._

A door opened to the lounge, and Velvet entered the room. It seemed as though she and her own group had finally come back on board as well.

_Oh! Velvet just got back from the chiral crystal search at Ganzam Castle. I’m jealous! A tour through a castle sounds so much nicer than having to sneak around a prison._

Mileena took a quick glance at Velvet, who had by now started up a conversation with Tear on the other side of the room. She was a mess, but that was only natural for someone who had just gotten back from an intensive expedition. Besides, there was something incredibly alluring about a tough woman covered in sweat…

_Velvet is both gorgeous and skilled at housework. Her fashion sense is a tad odd, however, and she also insists on keeping the ship barren so it’s easier to clean. I’ll just have to find her a man who appreciates her idiosyncrasies!_

Something in Mileena’s heart panged as she read over her last sentence, and she was scribbling cross-out marks over it before she could even comprehend why it bothered her. She loved matchmaking! She loved thinking about just how happy romance could make people! So why was she suddenly regretting the thought of bringing the same sort of happiness to Velvet? The woman was always so sullen and serious; maybe a lover could put a smile on her face more often.

And yet… something felt so wrong to Mileena about the idea of Velvet being with a man.

Her bizarre distress was interrupted by a sudden realization: if Velvet was back, should she not be saying hi to her instead of scribbling away in her journal?

MIleena bolted upright with that thought and looked over in the direction of her and Tear. They were still talking, but it looked like they were about to wrap up.

“…So if you could do that for me, I’d appreciate it,” Velvet concluded. “I’ll be going to the showers now.”

She exited the room before Mileena could even have a chance to say anything. It was just as well though; after hearing her say what she intended to do next she was not about to stop her from getting that much needed shower.

 _Hm… Maybe I should join her! She was only with guys, so since they won’t be headed to the same showers she’d probably need some company,_ Mileena thought.

 _Wait though… I already showered two hours ago after I had gotten back._ A wave of disappointment shot through her upon realizing this. Her only possible excuse to make so she could shower again was a chance to be with Velvet, and she was not about to waste resources by following through with selfish plans. So she sat right back down next to her journal.

Still though, the missed opportunity was upsetting to her. The public showers aboard the ship and also a recent trip to some hot springs meant Mileena had already gotten a few peeks at Velvet’s body. Granted, her usual choice of attire meant not much was left to the imagination even before she was able to see her naked. But her primary outfit was still so ridiculous that she much preferred Velvet fully exposed. While still tough looking with a slight touch of muscle, her opposite yet coexisting elegance could shine through without the bizarre style of her clothing obscuring it.

She immediately stopped her train of thought there. She had always carried a penchant for admiring beautiful women, but her fantasies and the intensity of her “admiration” were beginning to become too much for even her.

Mileena Weiss valued any and all time she got to spend with the female nexuses on her journey to save Tir Na Nog. While she had Ix and the island children she looked after to serve as her company back home at Odanse, the island had no women her age for her to befriend. At the time it did not bother her much; she never once believed that men and women were incapable of forming platonic friendships, and she loved being around children. But all the same, the kinship between two women of the same age was well known to be different – it was a whole different sort of relationship due to all the shared experiences women had.

And in the back of her mind, Mileena had still always longed to have that sort of relationship with another woman. Thus, if there was one silver lining to having been thrust away from her home, it was her dreams coming true to greater extents than she had ever expected.

As far as she was concerned, that was the most plausible explanation for all the… eccentric emotions that the presence of these women brought forth from within her. She just wasn’t used to being around them; she had long figured out that was why she was acting and feeling the way she was.

So why did it still bother her?

Mileena groaned, this time resolving to stop her infuriating thoughts in their tracks for real.

She once more looked over her journal entry and its hastily scribbled out last sentence. The thought of doing matchmaking for Velvet really should not have upset her that much…

  


* * *

  


Around two weeks later, she and Velvet had been sent out on an extended mission with Luke and Jade.

Since it was a longer mission, the four had to stay at an inn for the night. The rooms were small, and the group was split evenly into two men and two women. Each pair thus had their own, single bed inn room.

“…Mm.”

Mileena slowly woke up from where she slept. The two women had only gone to sleep a few hours before, and it was still the middle of the night. But she was nonetheless awake now. Awake, with her face planted directly upon Velvet’s breasts.

“…?!?” Mileena gasped and tried to move as soon as she realized where she had rolled over to in her sleep. But, as she quickly realized, her neck was held down by Velvet’s arm.

She figured Velvet had probably moved her arm there in her own sleep, thus also an accidental gesture of affection. But knowing Velvet had not meant to touch her so intimately either only made MIleena’s discomfort worse; she needed to get out of this situation fast. How could she do so without waking her up, though?

Before she could think of a way to escape, a far more concerning thought crossed her mind: Did she truly want to move her head from where she lay?

Velvet being in pajamas rather than her usual excuse for a corset meant there was no pesky metal clasp in the way. This gave Mileena full access to all the benefits of laying atop a woman’s breasts—firm yet soft, and ever so squishy. The perfect pillow. Every second she lay there was absolutely agonizing; she wanted nothing more than to burrow in further, perhaps even between them. But that was guaranteed to wake Velvet up. So she had to resist the urge.

Mileena was _appalled_ with herself. She was in absolute bliss, yes, but that was what bothered her so much. Why was she enjoying this so much? It was undeniable that Velvet had an immaculate bust, but Mileena was not the sort of woman who should be enjoying this sort of personal contact with her to that extent. She had set her heart on Ix long ago, for one. They were not lovers, but she had loved him and no other ever since they were children. As a result, she knew she was straight.

Even so, when Ix came to mind he brought another concerning thought with him: Had she ever felt this way while lying near Ix? Had she even once considered placing her head atop his own chest, and had she ever imagined herself to be this ecstatic were she to do it?

Luckily for her, a distraction to her confusing and conflicting desires had arisen.

Velvet was trembling under Mileena. At first, she thought it was a sign she had begun to wake up as well. But after a few seconds she had said nothing, and the intensity of the trembling suggested a sort of fear or discomfort that would not result simply from finding herself in an awkwardly intimate situation with her roommate.

Mileena recalled what Velvet had said to her when they first entered the room. Apparently, Velvet had problems with nightmares. On a few occasions in the past, she had hurt a roommate due to actions taken in her sleep during the nightmares, and on one occasion had hurt Laphicet after he abruptly woke her up in the middle of one. To prevent the same from befalling Mileena, she had offered to sleep on the floor. The only reason Mileena was able to convince her to stay in the bed was because it was true it had been a few weeks since she last had a nightmare.

 _Guess there always had to be an end to good things,_ Mileena thought. She had hoped and prayed Velvet would not have another nightmare tonight—both out of a desire to sleep next to her and a general desire for her to not have to suffer through another nightmare. Nothing she could do about it now though; she had to wake her up. While it could result in her getting hurt, she had noticed the arm around her neck was tightening so it was probable staying quiet would only put her in more danger.

“Velvet! It’s okay, please wake u—”

“AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING?!”

“Gyaah?!!”

Velvet sprung up from where she lay, bringing Mileena’s head along with her upper body. She was able to wake Velvet up quickly, but at the cost of having her body uncomfortably jerked forward.

Mileena removed herself from Velvet’s arm and chest as soon as she could regain her bearings. Velvet, still half asleep and breathing heavily, looked around the room in a panic, and then to Mileena as she put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s ok. You’re up now, and I’m here. I’m fine, so are you, and you didn’t hurt me,” she told her.

Velvet sat in silence and took a few long seconds to calm herself down. Once she was done, she got out of the bed. “…I told you this might happen.”

“Wait, no! It’s okay, seriously. You didn’t hurt me in the slightest, and you don’t deserve to be down there. If anything, I can sleep there instead. And you can—”

“I’m a daemon and I’ve slept on far harder floors,” Velvet cut her off. “You’re human, and well enough accustomed to sleeping in comfortable places. You’re staying up there.”

Mileena grit her teeth. She was not about to let Velvet sacrifice a decent night’s sleep for something so unfair. “Even if it’s ultimately taking a risk, I’d feel better with you up here. I know you would never hurt me seriously, and I’d just… prefer you be with me.”

Even through the dark room lit only by moonlight, she could see the disapproval spread through Velvet’s face at her words.

“…It still doesn’t change that you’re taking that risk. No matter how highly you think of me, you just don’t know what you’re getting into.”

“I know it’s not safe!” Mileena protested. “But I… I just don’t want you to do something like that for me.”

Velvet stared at Mileena for a scant moment, then sat back down on the bed. She neither got under the covers nor even laid back down, but instead addressed her roommate.

“You’re not getting it. Me spending one night on the ground is nothing in comparison to you possibly getting hurt because of me staying up there. No matter how obsessed you are with keeping my company, it wouldn’t be worth it.”

Mileena blanked out at hearing her words. “…Obsessed… huh... D-do I really come across that way?”

“You do. It’s not just me either; you’ve always tended to get… overly attached to other people. Mostly women. Not just me, but the other women aboard the airship as well.”

The words were like a knife to the heart for MIleena. She knew she was overly affectionate, but she had never intended to discomfort others. The worry she might have upset others with her smothering love had crossed her mind many a time, and now here was the confirmation to her fears.

In the end, there was no way she could have helped herself. Velvet was beautiful, with impressive mental and physical strength alike. While she was rough around the edges and more than a little brutal, that sort of toughness was incredibly alluring to Mileena. And despite her initial prickly and intimidating demeanor, they had still become fast friends. She was also lucky enough to have quickly found a softer side to Velvet that was far more relatable and approachable. Thus, she latched right on. And the cooking lessons Mileena requested from her when they first met allowed them to get closer even sooner than they would have been able to otherwise.

_“I couldn’t fairly call it ‘my’ technique’,” Velvet had told her when she first praised her cooking. “It’s just how I was taught.”_

_“That doesn’t make it less impressive,” MIleena then protested. “Look at you! You’re strong, beautiful, and cool, and amazing, and…and…and I think I’m in love!”_

_Even then Mileena had the warning signs of regret playing in her subconscious as soon as her choice of wording left her mouth. But she was too enamored with Velvet to pay them heed just yet._

_“Praising me like that isn’t going to get you anywhere.”_

_“Yeah, but it got you to blush a little. And wow, do you ever look adorable.”_

_Velvet had nothing in response to that but an exasperated sigh._

Memories of their first meeting were a reoccurring presence in Mileena’s mind. She was not quite sure when they started repeating, but they had been there for a while.

Regardless of when they started, she had to put the memories away for now. She needed to return to reality and apologize to Velvet for being so clingy.

“…I’m sorry. It’s just, there’s so many of you, and before this whole journey I never had the opportunity to talk to many girls my own—” Mileena stopped herself there. “Never mind. That’s no excuse. I’m sorry, Velvet.” She laid back down.

Velvet sighed. “I don’t get the impression that you mean any harm. It’s best to be aware of it, though. Don’t think I didn’t notice you make yourself at home in my breasts while I slept.”

Mileena gasped and bolted back upright. “I-I swear I didn’t mean to do that! It just… It happened in my own sleep.”

“I believe you,” Velvet said. “Clingy or not, I’ve never taken you for that sort of woman.”

The reassurance failed to console Mileena. Because by now, she had figured out why Velvet confronting her about the constant displays of affection was so painful.

Mileena was not a straight woman. She may not have ever even been in love with Ix, or capable of attraction to men at all. There were no more opportunities to run away from the truth of her sexuality.

Straight women just do not admire a woman’s body to the extent she had admired Velvet’s. Mileena knew that in her heart, but considering the possibility of being a lesbian or otherwise someone who was sexually attracted to women was not a thought she had wanted to entertain.

At the very least, she found solace in realizing Velvet didn’t think she was some sort of sexual deviant. That was a silver lining to this whole conversation for Mileena. Still though, she was not yet out of the woods. She had to verify Velvet’s true opinion of her.

“…Is me being overly attached part of why you don’t want to sleep up here? I get it, I probably come across as a huge creep by now.”

Velvet shook her head. “No. Like I said, I’m doing this for your safety. Your feelings for me are irrelevant, and other than the problem of my nightmares I’m perfectly comfortable around you.”

 _My feelings for her…_ That was it. Mileena had no more excuses to make. It was clear Velvet had seen right through her paper-thin heterosexual front. And thus, this whole conversation had struck an epiphany in her; maybe the best way to deal with being a lesbian was not to push the idea away. But rather, perhaps it was to follow her heart to the source of all her supposed “problems”.

“…If that’s the case, I really should have said something about that sooner,” Mileena began. “Like I was starting to say earlier, I’ve only recently began talking to girls my own age. So I have no idea how I’m supposed to act around them, and I certainly had no idea I was… that I was able to fall this deeply in love with them, or—”

“Guess I was right.” Velvet cut Mileena off and stood up from the bed. “I won’t lie, I’ve… found myself enjoying your company more than I thought I would. But it’s not more important than making sure you don’t get hurt by me.” Velvet walked over to the foot of the bed and laid down in front of it.

After hearing that, there was no way Mileena would give in. She got up from the bed as well and walked over to where Velvet laid. “Does that mean you like me too?”

“…I just mean I don’t dislike you,” Velvet explained. “Either way, I’m not going to distract myself from what’s important by doing anything unnecessary.”

“…Unnecessary?”

“Unnecessary. Things like getting attached to people you probably won’t be able to be around forever. Remember, I’ve only offered you my help for the time being. Depending on what happens in the future, I may leave.”

Mileena pouted. “And who’s to say you ever will leave? All I know is I’ve already decided I care about you more than I could have ever imagined possible. Whatever you end up doing in the end, I’m certain I would support you. And even if not… Who’s to say it would be a waste to get close to me now?”

At her words, Velvet sat up. “You should know by now what you’d be getting yourself into. I’m not a good person, Mileena. I’ve committed all manner of atrocities just in the name of killing one man. All because he took Laphi away from me. Even when I found out about his plans for the rest of the world, that’s still the only thing I truly cared about. Would you, a woman who wants nothing but the best for your own world even at the expense of your life, truly be willing to commit to someone like me?”

“I would.” Mileena steeled her gaze and looked directly into Velvet’s eyes. “Even if I don’t agree with everything you did, even if I myself would have never committed the crimes you did… I still love you, Velvet. You’re kind to those you care about when it counts, your strength and devotion to what you want truly is admirable, and more than anything I just… I just want to be at your side no matter what. And no matter what you say about yourself… I know you’re a good person inside. Even if there’s plenty of bad parts to you as well.”

A few moments of silence passed as Velvet made clear attempts to process what she had been told. Eventually, she stood up and gave her response to Mileena.

“…All right. I’ll humor you for now.” Velvet smiled just a bit and walked closer to her. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you if you ever feel like running away.”

At this point she was directly in front of Mileena, mere inches apart from her. “And besides…” she broke her sentence midway to lean into her face. Mileena instinctively pulled away slightly, to which Velvet responded by pulling her even closer to briefly kiss her directly on the lips.

Nothing but muted surprise and a hint of fluster lay in Mileena’s expression as Velvet pulled away.

“…Besides…? Besides what?”

“Besides,” Velvet answered. “If I'm not as good of a person as you think I am, would I really give you another chance to run?”

Mileena stared blankly, then smiled warmly. “No… I guess you wouldn’t.”

Another moment of silence passed. Velvet abruptly stepped back to bring some distance back between them, and Mileena could see just a hint of a blush on her face through the darkness. She had been wondering when the intimacy of their situation would get to Velvet. She was always so uptight; it was inevitable getting involved in romance would fluster her somehow. The reaction was delayed, but Mileena savored how adorable she was while embarrassed nonetheless.

“…So now that you’ve proved yourself this foolish,” Velvet finally said, “I suppose I should make your fate an option. Do you want me to forget about sparing you and sleep next to you on the bed?”

Mileena gasped in happiness, and her face lit up even through the dark room. “Of course! I’ve only been wanting you to do that this whole time!”

Velvet laughed just slightly. No matter how small, the sound was music to Mileena’s ears. She would have to think long and hard about how she could get even more laughter out of her in the future…

Both women went back to the inn bed and made themselves at home within it. As soon as they had settled back under the covers, and as soon as Velvet began to open her mouth to say “good night”, Mileena plopped her head right back onto her breasts.

Velvet gasped and pushed her head right back off. “I-I didn’t say you could do that…!”

Mileena let out an overblown groan. “But they’re so soft, and they feel so nice! I would get a better night’s sleep from them than any pillow that any inn could ever offer.”

“Just. Stay off,” Velvet growled. “I would… rather not do anything like that. Not right now.”

“Does that mean I can lay on them someday, though?”

“…Sure. Maybe.”


End file.
